State of Mind
This is Golden's short story entry for the writing contest. She still needs to edit it. Author's Note Hi, Golden here! This is my short story for the writing contest. I wanted to try out quite a different angle for this, so you may notice that it's a bit different to my normal style. I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you enjoy it! Also, if it gets really popular or it places or something, I'll make a part 2. Thanks for reading ~Golden State of Mind i. They say that a dragon’s mind saw colours. Many colours. Swirling, twisting, twirling. Bursts of orange, pink, blue, green, red, purple and any other colour that you could think of. It was amazing really, the beauty and complexity and the glorious reaches of one’s mind. The power to create a bad day or happy one with the simple sweep of a colour. Colours that calm. Colours that made a dragon’s scales tingle with fright. For colours created emotion and emotion was what made a dragon, well, a dragon. But there were no colours in her mind. Nothing at all. Not even black. The only thing comparable to a colour in her mind was the stretch of darkish grey blank space. Only a stretch of blank space, nothing more, nothing less. If the others found out, she would be considered even more worthless than before. Worthless, useless, replacement, mistake. Those were the names she was branded with, engraved into her heart as if they had been left there by a hot metal rod. Silence surrounded her, pressing in, threatening to break her, snap her, but only succeeding to push her further into her void of blank space. Tears formed in her eyes, making it look like there was a sheet of glass pressed over them. Water started to run down her snout and dripped onto the ground with a plop. The tears were then swallowed up by the inky blackness. It seemed that even a tear, something showing sadness and negative thoughts, would still be outcasted by her mind. Multiple times, she had tried calling for help, screaming even, but no one had heard and even if they had, no one would have cared. She was the outcast, the failure, the one stumbling around, not knowing where she was going, what she was doing, or even the purpose of her life. Life. It was like a flower, beautiful and bright, when taken care of, but when neglected, it wilts. Shrivels up as if it were poisoned. Trying to see the light, but losing strength every passing second and eventually left to die. She had put armor over her life, trying to protect it, only to block it from the sun. She tried to keep her thoughts and feelings tucked away only to almost lose them completely. She hid her opinions and emotions by acting passive, sarcastic and calm. But one day, her walls had to come crashing down. For you cannot keep a wild animal caged for long ii. A glimpse. All she needed was a glimpse, a glimmer of hope. A sign of light. That was all she asked for, all she prayed for, pleaded for. Because with a sign came a memory and even though she would remember that the sign had only last for a second, it would be enough. She had ventured to the vast corners of her mind only to find nothing, no magical glimmer of hope, no amazing sign of light. She was trapped in a world of nothing but pain and suffering. And she thought that she deserved it. She thought that if her mind was blank and did not show life then she had done something to deserve it. She carried this burden on her small, weak shoulders through thick and thin. Her will was gone, and her motivation too. She was claimed to be the weakest, the most useless out of them all. The one from the tribe that fixed their problems simply by not having them in the first place. Sometimes she wished she was different. As a young hatchling, she would hope that this was all just a horrible dream and that it would end when she woke up. But time had made her outer shell bitter and cold. iii. “Good for nothing” “You’ll never be a real dragon” “Maybe if you could fight then you wouldn’t end up like this” Everything hurt. Her physical state was fine. However, her mental may have never been the same again. She had tried to stand up, and break her shell. But you can’t fight a war without weapons. She fell apart again, quicker than a dragon could move a claw. What was she thinking? Why would she ever try? They were going to kill her. She was as worthless as everyone said she was, but refused to believe it until now. But now, with her whole world crashing down, did it matter that her only hope would too? But then she saw it. A haze in the darkness of her mind. A sheet of glass. And what was that behind it?  Light. Colours. Everything she never had, right before her eyes. She stared in awe, admiration and wonder. Bright lights danced and twirled and the colours swarmed every dark corner. This is what she wanted. This was her chance for a life of good. But the something flickered. And suddenly it felt wrong. But it was just like before the colours swirling, the lights dancing, the whole place seeming like it was calling to her. But now she felt a force, pushing her towards it. Then she realised why. She wanted to be happy. But she wanted it to be real. Not forced on her, not fake.. She narrowed her eyes and uttered one word. “No” And everything in front of her was slowly being eaten away by darkness. And the darkness was real. She had conquered a false image of her mind that she normally would have fallen into. The darkness was back, creeping into the farthest reaches of her mind. Maybe she should have let the colours in, even if it was fake. It wouldn't last forever, but at least it would help for a while. But she couldn't turn back now. ---- “Glory?” a deep, rumbling MudWing voice called out. “Right here,” she said as her wings brushed his and she shimmered into view. Category:Fanfictions Category:Fanfictions (Incomplete) Category:Content (TheGoldenDragoness)